Rhetorical Competition #3

Contestant’s Final Speech on Survivor, given to elicit the votes of the other, kicked-off contestants in order to win one million dollars.

You may say I don’t belong here, and my intention is not and has never been to reveal weak Spencer’s weaknesses, his laziness, lack of leadership, or lying to us and on his back all the time.

But even Clinton said, “I don’t think there is a fancy way to say that I have sinned.”

He gathered sticks from around his seat for firewood; for firewood, I would climb the island’s peaks.

I doubt Mr. Indiscretion meant to have scared the women he scared with his constant nudity; I just--

I, who has met, befriended, and fallen in love with you, now ask that you vote, not for someone who uses the restroom two feet from our only light source, the maggot- infested, fungus-toed, sour-milk breathed sleaze.

Spencer, I am the grease stain on your car that won’t disappear, smear, or clear.

I am going to prevail in spirit, spirit that has been soaring thirty days, days that I am not to have survived without our tribespeople, tribespeople who I am holding dearly.

Sentence 2: ANTICIPATION, PARALEPSIS, POLYPTOTON, ALLITERATION, SYLLEPSIS, APOPHASIS

CATEGORIA, BEDLYGMIA, HYPOCRISIS, SYNATHROESMUS, HOMOIOLTELEUTON, EUPHEMISM, COMMORATIO (I think; it is the third mention of his nakedness)

Arthur Tanny

Eulogy For Uncle Argos (1)

Uncles, Aunts, sisters, brothers, fathers, mothers, in-laws and ex’s (2), Father Zyprian asked that I keep this shorter than an East Indies Pygmy(3), because I tend to go on and on and on(4) when I’ve been hitting the bottle(5-7). How can I sum up the life of Uncle Argos, Ole Bronze (8) as I used to call him (9-11)? He was terribly good (12) at catching things. He caught liars and crooks (13) as a police man, pneumonia and fever (14) as an old man. Some say I am too plastered to remember Ole Bronze, how much could I really know about the man?(15-16 & 31) But let me start with what I could tell you. I could tell you (17 & 20 & 29) that Bronze (18) has a heart of Gold (19& 55). I could tell you (20 & 29) he nosed (21) for Aunt Adelphi’s (22) pie, all of the time (23). I could tell you (20 &29) he enjoyed Grandma Gilda’s (24) tulip gardening (26) or (30) Uncle Santos’ turkey hunting (26) or (30) Cousin Carmela’s (24) Tarot reading (26-28). I could tell you (20 & 29) lots of things on how I knew this man, knew him well (25, 32, 36, 43)! Could any of you know him as well? (33-36) He was as deep as the deep dark well (36, 37,39). But as bright as the blinding light (38) of lightning (39-41). Yes, I knew Ole Bronze (42), knew him well (36 & 43). Even as he lays here stiff as an oak (39), I hear his booming roar (44) of laughter echoing through the –listen –(45) it hugs us from beyond(46-47). Ole Bronze, (48) you fool, wake quickly!(49) Or the casket they will close (50). Bronze (55) once said “nice guys finish last (51)” but there he is and here we are (52-54).

1.   The Eulogy is an Encomium
2.    Isocolon
3. Hyperbole
4.   Epizeuxis
5    Synecdoche (bottle)
6.   Compound Complex sentence
7.   Concession
8. Metonymy
9.   Apposition
10. Hypophora
11. Rhetorical Question
12. Antiphrasis
13. Tapinosis
14. Hysteron Proteron (fever and then Pneumonia)
15. Refutations
16. Aporia
17. Anadiplosis
18. Antonomasia
19. clich�
20. Anaphora
21. Antihimera
22. Assonance
23. Euphemism
24. Alliteration
25. Accumulation
26. Homioiteleuton
27. Parison
28.Paromoisosis (Tulip, turkey, tarot and the –ings)
29. Paralepsis
30. Polysyndeton
31. Anticipation
32. Tetracolon Climax
33. Epiplexis
34. Dialectic
35. Epimone (repetition of know and well)
36. Epiphora
37. Ploce
38. Epithet
      39. Simile
      40. Polypoton (light lightning)
41. Paradox
42. Troupe
43. exuscitatio
44. onomatopoeia
45. Aposiopesis
46. Catachresis
47. Energia
48. Apostrophe
49. Dehortatio
50. hyperbaton
51. Maxim
52. Epicrisis
53. Antithesis
54. Attic
55. Metaphor
___________________________________________________________

Let me take a brief moment [pleonasm] to inform you on why homework, an assignment given to do outside of class, [apposition] is not a good idea. Oh, great Zeus, how I try… [apostrophe] [aposiopesis] Homework almost always [oxymoron] wastes valuable natural resources. Natural resources [anadiplosis] like paper- think about all the paper used for the purposes of writing out geometric proofs or drafts of research papers that wind up in the trashcan. And think of the ink, the ink, the ink! [epizeuxis] Pens don’t last forever. [simple sentence] As soon as these plastic tubes run out ink, it’s off to the landfill. [complex sentence]

It is also much healthier and cheaper not do homework. Homework causes stress; stress causes fatigue, fatigue leads headaches, headaches lead to ulcers, ulcers lead to depression, depression leads to gastrointestinal diseases, gastrointestinal disease leads to heart attacks, and heart attacks lead to death. [gradatio] [isocolon] [climax] These illnesses cost money! Who wants to squander money at the doctor’s office when you could be spending money [diacope] on a big juicy steak and a bottle of champion? [rhetorical question – erotesis] [malapropism]

And who has time to waste on homework? Not me. [hypophora] I would rather be beaching it [antihimeria] and feeling the sand between my toes than doing homework, and let’s face it, so would our teachers! To grade it our teachers don’t really want; [hyperbaton] they only assign it as a formality. We should embrace the finer things in life [clich�] and no longer do (or assign) [parenthesis] homework. [syllepsis]
___________________________________________________________
Katie Sanders

Rhetorical Situation- Attempting to convince a friend to ditch work and go drink instead.

“Let’s go to the bar, smoke cigarettes, read a magazine, and drink Tom Collins all day!{Tricolon} You have had a bad week, and we should make it better. {Sprezzatura} The bartender, Bob, is bald,wears bowling shirts that barely covers his belly. {Alliteration, Energia, Asyndeton} Bob tells the greatest stories; they are so vivid, so real that everyone listens, including the old jukebox. {Amplification, Personification} It will be fun! We can watch, sit, laugh at, with, the other lushes. {Meiosis, Periphrasis} The patrons of the bar consist of all types of people; we could make it like a case study of sorts, interview people. {Amplification}I know how much you like taking in different lives.{Identification, Paranomasia, Pathos} The ones that come in at 4 pm are older, retired customers, who leave by 6 or 6:30 in time for dinner. The ones that come in after work are all ages, they usually leave the drama at the bar, in time for the latest crime drama on television.{Pleonasm} The ones that come in at 11 or later are college students or still lead the college life style, usually staying until closing.{Anapora, Asyndeton, Exergasia} Most everyone in the bar smokes, so the air was constantly smoky.{Epanalepsis, Polyptoton, Ploce} You and I, like going to the bar, ,and sitting at the bar, and being alone at the bar. {Homoioiteleuton, Polysyndeton} Marnie, Marnie, Marnie, I know what you are thinking.{Epizeuxis, Anticipation, Ethopoeia} Are you thinking that you have too much work to do? {Epiplexis, Epimone, Hypophora} I know that deep in you heart, you want to go. {Exuscitatio, Epithet, Commoratio, You and I both know that the work you have to do can be done on Sunday.{Confirmation, Deduction, Dehortatio, Invented Ethos} So, what do you say? {Phatic Communion}
__________________________________________

Jolene Burge

[Rhetorical Situation: Doctor Stephan has just informed Victoria that her lover is in a coma and might die]

1. Victoria: No, no, no! Say it is not so! I must see him, hold his hand, touch his

3. Doctor Stephan: Ask him yourself, he’s right here, in this bed. You just don’t

5. Victoria: Oh Chet, my loving love, my Casanova, I beg - I beseech – I . . . Wake

6. up, in my loving arms you must wake! Our love is so powerful it conquers all. All

7. the trials we have been through. What have all our efforts to make millions of

9. amount to? Nothing, if you do not wake. What will I tell the police when they ask

11. You are punishing me in the most cruelest way possible. Forgive me for sleeping

12. with your brother – I did not know he was your evil twin. I could not help but be

13. taken in by his charms, so like your own. It’s not as though you never slept with

14. my low down dirty skanky step mother. And I won’t remind you of the time you

17. broken hearts) is beckoning. As they say “if you can’t be with the one you love,

English 5730 is taught by Dr. Richard Nordquist.
Armstrong Atlantic State University
Savannah, Georgia 31419
912-921-5991